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Feeling Off? Here’s How to Reset Your Mood in Ten Seconds It’s a Tuesday afternoon and I’m walking home from the clinic to pick up my daughter from daycare. The working day is done. I should feel good. But I feel “meh.” I do a quick internal check. Am I worried about something? Not really — I feel safe. Do I feel disconnected from people or low on social interaction? No — I’ve had lunch with a colleague, feel pretty

The tension was palpable. Curse words were muttered. We were bickering, taking turns with exasperated sighs and proclamations to quit. Dirty looks were shot at each other. My daughter, feeling the weight of it, stepped in to apologize on our behalf. Which broke my heart a little. What was happening? We were installing a bike basket and a kid’s bike seat. And it didn’t go as planned. What was missing at that moment? The very thing I’ve been writing about

I’ve never been great at setting limits with others — clients, cousins, friends. Whenever I feel I have to hold a line or get firm, my voice changes. It gets strained and scolding but ineffective. I call it my authoritarian teacher voice. And when it comes out, I feel exactly like the teacher I’m channeling: that overwhelmed, slightly sweaty substitute standing in front of a room of unruly 13-year-olds, trying to sound strict enough to get control of the class.

Sometimes, I’m the toddler. I’m on edge and then something doesn’t go as planned. Or I hit my toe. Or my daughter just. won’t. do ANYTHING I ask her to do. And I melt down. I’m short of throwing myself on the floor and flailing my arms around. OK, I might be exaggerating. But in those moments I do stomp around. I curse. I slam doors shut. And I know I could do better. Here’s the thing nobody warns you